September 10, 2009

Directors: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor

Starring: Gerard Butler, Amber Valletta

Release Date: September 4, 2009

Even though it’s filled with cheesy dialogue and is based on a completely unbelievable premise, The Running Man is one of those lovable but stupid sci-fi actioners that I absolutely have to watch anytime I see it on TV.  When I first saw the trailer for Gerard Butler’s new vehicle Gamer, I thought, “You know, I’m sure this is going to be complete garbage, but because it looks like The Running Man, there’s a chance that it’ll be chock full of cartoonish violence and nifty one-liners.  That makes it at least worth the price of a matinee, right?”

Wrong.

I have no doubt that directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor think their movie is rife with timely commentary regarding the popularity of violent video games and the boom of social networking platforms like Facebook and Twitter.  It’s clear that the absurd amount of debauchery the directorial duo has managed to stuff into the 95-minute runtime of Gamer is all there for a purpose—at times to do nothing more than make us gag—but the whole thing comes off as being a forced exercise in “gore and weird camera angles are the best way to get the point across.”  It’s almost as if the pair wanted to see how much they could make the audience squirm, as little things like plot, character development, or any sort of emotional investment are completely shirked in light of a much bigger task—namely, to simultaneously bore us, confuse us, and make us shake our heads at the sheer stupidity of it all.

The story is this: a tycoon by the name of Ken Castle has invented a type of nanotechnology that replaces normal human brain tissue with robotic cells that are designed to receive transmissions.  In short, people are able to control other people in the form of a violent “video game” called Slayer (although Castle made his first billion with a Sims-esque endeavor titled Society, where real people control other real people who do things like walk around in circles, touch each others’ breasts, wear leather jumpsuits, etc.).  Much like last year’s Death Race, the story centers on an inmate whose trying to survive long enough to escape and finally be reunited with his family.  As things progress, we’re provided with a few details regarding why Kable (our hero, played by Butler) was imprisoned in the first place, and once the whole thing takes the predictable government conspiracy/he’s-been-framed/yada, yada, yada route, we all know exactly what’s going to happen.

Unlike the self-aware/oft-comedic pieces of science fiction that literally poured out of the 80s, Gamer doesn’t seem to understand that it’s premise is ridiculous (nevermind that the aforementioned Society, Castle’s original claim to fame, has apparently been around since 2010). Gamer tries desperately to make connections to the present, even going so far as to duplicate a certain unmentionable maneuver found in Halo 3 that players often subject downed opponents to (if you’ve played Halo 3 online, you know exactly what I’m talking about, but, in an effort to maintain some degree of class, I’ll avoid actually saying the word).  There are even times where it seems as if Gamer is patting itself on the back because of a clever plot development—or at least something it thinks is a clever plot development—which ends up being, in fact, completely illogical.

Point in case: in an attempt to escape the confines of the Slayer gaming field, Kable decides to chug a bottle of vodka before a match.  After managing to separate himself from the rest of the pack (forget how conveniently this is accomplished), he finds n abandoned truck that runs on ethanol.  He gags himself so he’ll puke the alcohol-laden contents of his stomach into the fuel tank.  When he’s finished this, he then stands up and drunkenly urinates into the tank.  Since the automobile is now filled with his urine-ahol, it instantly cranks up.

Let’s take a second to think about this.

I’m not a mechanic, but I’m willing to guess that ethanol cars run on a fuel mixture that’s a little more complex than just vodka (especially vodka that’s been processed through someone’s digestive system in less than 15 minutes).  The real problem with this particular scenario, however, is that Kable could’ve easily entered the playing field with the bottle of vodka hidden underneath his flak jacket.  For some inexplicable reason, he decides to down it in front of a security camera as all of the other players are running out to join the game.  Why wouldn’t he choose to remain sober and make his way to the abandoned parking deck, thereby drastically lowering his chances of being killed?

Really, I could go on and on about the logical inconsistencies in Gamer—which, quite honestly, wouldn’t be so glaring if the movie didn’t regard itself as a poignant metaphor about where society is headed—but I won’t do that.  The ominous, flickering end screen says it best: GAME OVER.

out of 5

–Chris Flowers

Rated R for frenetic sequences of strong brutal violence throughout, sexual content, nudity and language.